I think I…

I think I felt in love with you boy, it hurt me when I say I didn't love you when you ask me, I just afraid to build a relationship right now, I am not ready for that, I want to focus to my scholarship hunting for my master degree, because for me that’s the most important to me right now and I don’t want to screw it, I wish you could understand and I hope what I've decided right now it is the best decision that I’ve ever made. I never thought that I’ll fall in love with you because you are really far behind from my type, I don’t want dating with Sumba guy or a man who was born and raised in Sumba, for me it’s too complicated to built a relationship with a Sumba guy or even worst to married with Sumba guy, we all know Sumba culture, it’s killing me, but you change me, you make me fall in love you, there something in you that makes me haunted that’s why maybe when I reject you, I was crying all night long and feel so sorry because it hurt me and of course it hurt you too, and now my life is different, I can’t pass every day without thinking of you but once again, I just refuse you for many reason that I can’t tell you, am I too pride to confess it?

Waitabula, December 20, 2012